Evils of Toxic Masculinity and the Role of Pop Culture in Breaking Gender Stereotypes

 

Suggested Citation: Verma, T. (2021, July 9). Evils of Toxic Masculinity and the Role of Pop Culture in Breaking Gender Stereotypes. Queer Academia. URL.

The world is veiled by the cloak of gender stereotypes. Be it giving toy cars to boys and Barbie dolls to girls as presents or thinking that only females can put on make-up, gender stereotypes and gender roles have long governed the way an individual is expected to behave in a society. These gender roles are decided by the society’s standards of what is acceptable and what is not. An article published by Planned Parenthood (n.d.) defines gender as a social construct. It depends on a society’s appropriation of one’s characteristics, thoughts and behaviours, and is entirely different from sex, which is a very anatomical concept and relates to genes and chromosomes combinations. Earnshaw's Infants' Department’s June 1918 article states that “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.” (Maglaty, 2011). It iterates the belief that girls should be submissive and passive as opposed to boys who should be bold and active. However, this has changed over the years. Ironically, a lot of ‘gender’ reveal events in the West use blue to signify the sex of a male unborn baby and pink for a female unborn baby. 

Another gender stereotype that can be busted through research is how gender is assigned to accessories such as high heels. High heels were originally designed for elite men who would go for horseback hunting (Kremer, 2013). But over the years, a tag of femininity has been attached to heels which has barred men from fully expressing themselves and sown seeds of self-consciousness in many. These expected manifestations of gender often clash with one’s own gender identity and expression. However, it is observed that as the fight of breaking gender roles continues, people are growing more comfortable in their skin and are liberating themselves from the shackles of gender-borne restrictions and are turning to more individualistic forms of self-expression. For example- Jim Sarbh and Ranveer Singh, Indian film actors who constantly break the boundaries of gender assigned clothing and patriarchal masculinity; Harry Styles, who drew a lot of attention through his Vogue 2020 Cover Photo-shoot was criticized by multiple right-wing US conservatives for dressing up in a gown. Candace Owens, an American author made the statement “Bring back manly men” in her tweet dated November 15, 2020.

This raises the question – What constitutes a man? And is being manly or hypermasculine the only way to be a man? From a very young age, boys are told to suppress their emotions, to act tough, to always be the one in control, to not cry as it is a sign of weakness. Phrases such as “man up”, “don’t cry like a girl”, “mard ko kabhi dard nahi hota” (a man does not feel pain) are deeply ingrained in boys’ minds by society. But is this logical, let alone ethical? A survey conducted by WHO shows that 40% of countries have a very high suicide rate for men as opposed to only 1.5% countries with such a rate for women. This is because of the pressure to meet with the societal expectations of being a boy and being in tandem with the accepted standards of masculinity or rather, toxic masculinity (Santwani, 2021). An article published by Medical News Today (n.d.) quotes a study in the Journal of School of Psychology that defined toxic masculinity as “the constellation of socially regressive [masculine] traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia, and wanton violence.”  (Ingram et al., 2019). 

Toxic masculinity, stemming from patriarchal codes of conduct, “naturalizes male dominance and upholds gender inequality” (Reddy and Lakkimsetti, n.d.). It causes one to look down upon women and all things feminine, which leads to femmephobia. This need to look tough and masculine is accompanied by the desire to degrade and devalue other sexes and other forms of expressions, which are often feminine. This aversion to femininity is generated from the need to be in control of one’s masculinity. Men who have a feminine gender expression are often exposed to violence and homophobic/transphobic slurs are hurled at them. This is fairly conspicuous in YouTube culture. Indian YouTubers such as Carry Minati and Triggered Insaan often guise their homo/transphobia under a veil of humour and jokes. Reacting to males with a feminine gender expression and using transsexual gender identities as epithets has become a trend in the current digital scenario (Mukherjee, 2020). Similar is the case with K-POP. The Korean Entertainment Industry, beyond taking the world by storm because of its music and culture, stands for breaking toxic gender stereotypes and taboos. The artists are not afraid to dress up, colour their hair, wear makeup etc. Though the Kpop fandom has firmly established its roots in India, due to the cosmic cultural differences, the artists are criticized for breaking these stereotypes. They are shamed for what they believe in because of the patriarchal paradigm that exists in India. They are often addressed as “girl-like talentless people feeding off by doing weird fan service, etc.” in India and their sexual identity is automatically equated with homosexuality (Wonk, 2020). Not only gender and sexual identities are used as epithets or insults but being a girl or acting like a girl is wrong too according to the perpetrators of toxic masculinity, the patriarchal society. Not only does K-POP break these gender barriers on its own but inspires many to embrace their individual gender expressions. With the breakout of different groups exploring different styles, South Korea has started accepting and encouraging these bold fashion choices. BTS, the famous Korean band, has become a worldwide phenomenon. Through their queer, androgynous, gender fluid style they empower their fans to love themselves, to speak their truth and break societal norms surrounding gender and sexuality. They are also known to break the taboos around mental health through their songs and speech at the UN (Wilson, 2018). 

Another way through which masculinity has been redefined is through drag. Drag is often equated to drag queens. In a world of queens, too little is known about drag kings. Like drag queens, drag kings dress up in a masculine manner and bend and play with gender roles and identities. Kay Bevan, a high school English Teacher performs as a drag king, Randy Roy. She feels that drag is a way of expressing one’s own perception and idea of what gender is and what it means to oneself. People might assume that as she is performing as a drag king, she will be hyper masculine and act like a “stud” but she loves to play around and toy with the societal definition of masculinity and express it as her own spectrum. By depicting masculinity in a very colourful manner, it is as if she asks “What does a man look like in the first place?" (Rasker, 2021). In India, the idea of drag kings is still in a very initial age, with very few artists such as Bidisha Mohanta, who established The Desi Drag Kings in 2018. Sakshi Juneja, co-founder of the Gaysi Family, states “Drag is a lot more than just putting across your feminine or masculine qualities. It is also about being rebellious. You feel very empowered, because you are doing something which is so frowned upon, which you would otherwise not do.” (Iyengar, 2021). 

Toxic masculinity also manifests itself in more heinous ways such as sexual assault. It is the desire to be in control of one’s masculinity that pushes one to commit assault and harassment. However, when talking about sexual assault, there is little to no mention of the assault inflicted on genders other than female. The reason for this is the lack of information available about these cases. This is because men are told to be indifferent to any sort of vulnerability, to not cry, to suffer in silence because that is what being a man means. These victims of assault are insulted and laughed upon because they failed to be a man and are hence, coerced to remain quiet about their suffering because that is what being a man is. Instead of helping them cope up with the trauma, they are pushed deeper into the pits of darkness to question their masculinity (Verma, 2020). This sort of belief assigns gender to emotions as well, that only one gender is supposed to be sensitive, and the other has to be highly insensitive, tough, and unsympathetic. Not only does this ignore the presence of other genders and gender fluidity but it dangerously hampers one’s mental health and wellbeing. 

In a country like India, where Bollywood movies such as Kabir Singh depict masculinity in a very toxic manner, it is important for the youth to find resources to unlearn these definitions and restrictions imposed upon them from a very young age. It is also important to acknowledge the fact that patriarchy does not harm only women but threatens the peace of all gender identities. Society needs to question its belief systems of laying down expectations of how a person is supposed to carry themselves in the world and defining one’s gender expression for them. It is needed to eradicate its age-old paradigms of inflicting trauma and injustice to those who fail to meet these societal expectations and standards. Defining masculinity has taken away the freedom from people to express themselves and their identity. Toxic masculinity has birthed from these expected gender expressions and gender roles. It harms the society, as a whole, in various ways such as increasing cases of sexual assault, males being expected to be independent, controlling of others as well as their emotions. Contrary to the belief that gender roles create structure and stability in the society, this sort of uniformity that compromises with the mental well-being of individuals by binding them into shackles of normative behaviours and attitudes is indeed toxic. Though, time and again, these notions have been questioned through pop culture such as through K-POP, drag culture etc. but femininity is often feared and is linked to homophobia. It is important to let go of these rigid definitions of what a man should be so that they can have the freedom to queer their canvas in their own colours.

References

Maglaty, J. (2011, April 7). When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink? Smithsonian.com. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/.  

Ingram, K. M., Davis, J. P., Espelage, D. L., Hatchel, T., Merrin, G. J., Valido, A., & Torgal, C. (2019). Longitudinal associations between features of toxic masculinity and bystander willingness to intervene in bullying among middle school boys. Journal of School Psychology, 77, 139–151. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsp.2019.10.007  

Iyengar, R. (2021, February 25). Indian Drag King Bidisha Mohanta Upends Gender Norms. RADHIKA IYENGAR. http://radhikaiyengar.squarespace.com/work/dragkingsindia.  

The K-Pop wave in India vs Indian stereotypes around masculinity. The Wonk. (2020, October 15). https://thewonk.in/the-k-pop-wave-in-india-vs-indian-stereotypes-around-masculinity/.   

Kremer, W. (2013, January 25). Why did men stop wearing high heels? BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21151350 . 

MediLexicon International. (n.d.). Toxic masculinity: Definition, common issues, and how to fight it. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/toxic-masculinity#what-it-is.  

Mukherjee, R. (2020, June 29). Popular Indian YouTubers Use Homophobic Slurs And Call It Funny. A Petition Wants Them to Stop Now. News18.com: CNN-News18 Breaking News India, Latest News Headlines, Live News Updates. https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/popular-indian-youtubers-use-homophobic-slurs-and-call-it-funny-a-petition-wants-them-to-stop-now-2688627.html.  

Owens, C. [@RealCandaceO]. (2020, November 14). Bring Back Manly Men : Candace Owens [Tweet]. Twitter. https://mobile.twitter.com/RealCandaceO/status/1327691891303976961 

Rasker, R. (2021, May 7). 'There's so much more out there than RuPaul': The side of drag that's still underground. ABC Everyday. https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/drag-kings-show-theres-more-to-drag-than-rupaul/100092062.    

Reddy, V., & Lakkimsetti, C. (n.d.). Feminine Vulnerability and Toxic Masculinity: A Comparative Feminist Analysis of Me Too in India and the US. https://irw.rutgers.edu/rejoinder-webjournal/issue-4-me-too/377-feminine-vulnerability-and-toxic-masculinity-a-comparative-feminist-analysis-of-me-too-in-india-and-the-us.  

Santwani, M. (2021, January 3). 'Men don't feel pain'. Times of India Blog. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/mypoetry/men-dont-feel-pain-28797/.  

Sex and Gender Identity. Planned Parenthood. (n.d.). https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity.  

Verma, A. (2020, July 14). India's silence on Sexual Assault of Men and Boys. iPleaders. https://blog.ipleaders.in/indias-silence-sexual-assault-men-boys/. 

Wilson, M. (2018). How BTS's androgynous, fluid style is empowering teens worldwide. Dazed. https://www-dazeddigital-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.dazeddigital.com/music/article/42565/1/bts-gender-fluidity-teen-angst-column?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&=1&usqp=mq331AQHKAFQArABIA%3D%3D#aoh=16233353733395&_ct=1623335647363&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dazeddigital.com%2Fmusic%2Farticle%2F42565%2F1%2Fbts-gender-fluidity-teen-angst-column. 

 Written by: Teena Verma

Reviewed by: Smriti Gupta, Kanav Sahgal

About the Author: Teena is a student of English Honours at Christ University, Bangalore. She is an Ally and believes in treating everyone with kindness and respect. She loves to spend her leisure time fangirling over bands, watching anime, k-dramas and reading books.